So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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