But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
