Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize