No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
