I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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