last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize