i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
