I heard we made out
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
