the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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