it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
