I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
