Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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