I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
