it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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