Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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