five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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