Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
