He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
