Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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