haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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