I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
