Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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