sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Randomize
