piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize