What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
