My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
