Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
