dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize