is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
