halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
