guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
