Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
