we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
