Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
