so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
do nipples grow back?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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