Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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