I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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