Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
