Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
