I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
