There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
