Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
