Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I touched a dick in church today
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize