We're like a lot better than the average bears
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My vagina is very pro this idea
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