Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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