didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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