he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
