Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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