I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
