shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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