i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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