should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
