I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We need to get me chipped asap
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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