Already got asked if we're dating
My room smells like vodka and shame
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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