You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
