Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
