Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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