Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
