there's paper in my vomit.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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