I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
