im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
