so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize