do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
