Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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