After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
