it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
