I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
