Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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