real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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