OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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