Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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