the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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