dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
