I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Found the puke drawer
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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