am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
