I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize