Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize